Attempting To Be A Domestic Goddess

Pass me my teeth, and I'll bite you - George Burns

Welcome to my Thursday 🐦

Nice big hug.

Brew with breakfast.

Thermal vest goes on,

As well as the layers.

Then it's time to uncover Sexy Beast.

I gives hubby a sloppy wet 💋before I leave.

I still put on my 2 hats with my big big gloves.

Once I put on my lights.

Let's go to work 🍭

Oh dear, here we go again!

Lots of Limbo drivers, my side and the otherside.

Done about 5 BOINGS this morning.

One silver Skoda driver, always waves to me in the morning. He actually stopped for me.

I got back to the pavement, two children were waiting to crossing, I raised my stick.

He thought sod this, put his toe on the peddle and outta there he went!

Good job the car behind didn't move so I could cross them over instead!

I survived!

I collected the newspaper on the way home.

The coffee machine went on.

I mopped the kitchen floor.

(I thought it won't take too long!)

While it dried.

I had my coffee.

Then I wrote yesterday's blog post.

Once I finished.

I checked the kitchen floor.

Still not dry :(

Oh well, I need to have my lunch.

In went my soup in the microwave,

another cup of coffee.

Nice and warm for the mouth!

Now for part two!

Change of leggings needed first.

(Too warm for the woolly ones)

The big big sunglasses had to go on.

Driving up the High Street.

A white van parked outside the Charity shop didn't help with the low lying sun. I was going only 5 m.p.h. Two women just walked in front of me,just past the van, I suddenly stopped.

They just looked and kept carrying on. A Range Rover tried and failed to push me out of the way as I carried on up the road!

Once I parked Sexy Beast.

Time to get the winter coat.....

Four times I tried to get the zip done up.

Fifth time, I did it!

The wind blew over my lollipop stick.

I had to undo the zip of my coat to pick it up off the floor!

Not going to be my afternoon!

I went to turn on my lights.

First I chattered with my friend and her mum.

Then my other friend arrived with his dog.

Quick rabbit, like you do.

Going to be fun with that low lying sun!

I said goodbye to my friends.

Now for part two of 🍭

Cars weren't stopping again.

I even stuck my lollipop right out in front of me, the small blue car drove straight under it, my stick nearly took out their car ariel, it was that low!

I just rolled my eyes, and carried on!

Home Time for me.

Back home.

Now for a much needed brew!

Then I put the tea in the oven to cook.

While watching the news, it was reporting on the death of Barry Cryer.

One of his jokes was read out on the news.

I couldn't stop laughing.

A man owns a parrot that can't stop swearing.

So he says to him, 'If you don't stop swearing, I'll put you in the fridge.'

The parrot keeps on swearing. So he puts it in the fridge.

Five minutes later, he takes the parrot out of the fridge, and says to it, 'Are you going to stop swearing?'

'Yes,' says the parrot. 'But what did that chicken do?'

Another one I found, why I also laughed at:

A woman walks past a petshop and sees a magnificent parrot in the window.

She rushes inside and says, 'How much for the parrot?'

'£5,' says the shopkeeper.

'Only £5? I've got to have it,' says the woman. 'Why's it so cheap?'

'Well, I must confess, it was brought up in a brothel,' said the shopkeeper. 'And, to put it politely, it has quite an extensive vocabulary.'

'Never mind,' says the woman. 'At that price, I'll take it.'

So she takes the parrot home, puts its cage in the living room and takes the cover off.

'New place - very nice,' says the parrot.

Then the woman's two daughters walk in.

'New place, new girls - very nice,' says the parrot.

Then the woman's husband walks in, and the parrot says, 'Oh hello, Keith!'

Hubby comes back, and has a nice wet sloppy 💋

Tea is served.

Yum!

Quick look into today's newspaper.

USA No.1 on this day in 1973:

Stevie Wonder - Superstition

UK No.1 on this day in 1979

Ian Dury and the Blockheads -

'Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick'

Sudden Impact was released in the UK, Ireland, Italy and Brazil On this day in 1984. Directed by and starring Clint Eastwood with Sondra Locke, Pat Hingle, Bradford Dillman and Albert Popwell.